Catching Rain
by song six
Summary: Zachary Zatara was always used to one sided loves, where they adored and loved him and he...did his thing. However, he never thought he'd find himself on the other end.


**Note:** Inspired by 'Winner of a Losing Game' by Rascal Flatts

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'Catching Rain'

by SongSix

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They say love is forever, that not even something like death could stop such a powerful force. Well, as much as it would surprise most, Zachary Zatara wished desperately to find such love.

He is the Brad Pitt of the magic world. He's as talented on stage as he is both charming, and good looking. There was a constant flow of money coming into his funds from all of his success. He's also a hero out saving the world and lives in his spare time. There was a great number of adoring fans and suitors waiting in line wishing to know what it would be liked to be held by him, kissed by him, _loved_ by him. In his own mind, he was a pretty big freaking deal. Although most of his fellow heroes would write him off as spoiled, a brat, and arrogant it couldn't be denied that he was quite the catch – when you got around the ego. However, all he ever wanted was to be loved for real, and Zachary Zatara believed he could have almost anyone he wanted without any magic tricks, asides his tongue – words too.

Yet, here he was, lying on a dirty, torn-up mattress in a cold, broken down apartment holding a person that didn't even feel a damn thing for him. It's not supposed to be this way. They were always in love with him, or at least enamored. He would them charm them into coming back to his room. They would be completely captivated with his every word, his every _touch_, and become obsessed. Then after he was done, they would be left broken hearted while he was left satisfied.

So everything was absolutely wrong with this picture, because Zachary Zatara would never allow himself to stay overnight in a shabby apartment. Unless there was going to be an 'encore performance_' _after a show, but he still hasn't even seen _them_ naked! Zachary Zatara would never become obsessed with someone. Even with Kate or Raven, he loved them, but he never gave up any dignity or pride for them. He wasn't even willing to stay with the Teen Titans for Raven. Yet, when _they_ asked him to help with another mission after only **one** meeting, he even went as far as cancelling a hot date for them. Of course, he was always willing to help the world, fight crime and do good because it truly was a passion of his to bring better for mankind; however, to willingly work with the Titans after how much he expressed his loathe for many of the members he still came.

Zatara buried his face into dark hair searching for _his _smell, past the scent of gun powder, plaster, rain, and _copper_. His body stiffened, and all he wanted to do was run his fingers through their hair to make sure it wasn't _their_ blood. But he couldn't bring himself to unlatch the slim, calloused fingers that interlocked with his own. He was afraid they wouldn't allow him to return his hand. Thinking about this, Zatara tightened his grip, snuggling closer to the back in front of him protectively. They didn't even so much as flinch.

Zatara had long gotten over the fact that he would probably never get a reaction out of them. It would be perfectly okay with him for the time being. He wasn't going to try to push it, and he certainly wasn't going to leave either. For the first time, he wasn't giving up on someone so easily. Ironically, this was probably one of those times where he should. There was probably never going to be a 'happy ever after' for them. They were never going to feel anything for him, as hard as they may try. But it's actually been awhile since they've actually stopped trying and simply allowed Zatara to continue holding them, kissing them, _loving _them. There were a few times when they had told him to move on, that they couldn't have anything.

But Zatara refused to leave. He knew he could never have them as just a friend. It would only drive them insane. Having to see them and know he couldn't touch. Having to hear those lips, and know he couldn't ravage them all he wanted. Having to be in their presence and have to stand there and pretend there's nothing. It would only push him into something terrible, or to just leave forever. Maybe even to another universe if Zee would allow him. Of course, he would _never_ push them into something they didn't want to do, not as long as he could be with them even in just this way. He wouldn't be better off, he'd only grow worse. Maybe they were aware of that too, and that's why they didn't force Zatara to move on the first time he put his foot down.

They made him feel like he really was just as powerful as he makes himself out to be to others. They made him feel like he was useful, and could be trusted. He never wrote him off, not even after their not so great first meeting. They sent sparks up and down his insides that were better than magic. He's never felt this way about anyone before, so that's why he thinks maybe it could be true love. But can it be, if the other person doesn't even feel the same way?

Sometimes his feelings would slip into something more bitter, _envious_, and hateful. He'd wonder why they didn't love him in the same way. He would start to think selfish or even _bratty_ things and almost say or do something he knows will hurt them on purpose. A lot of times, he'd decide he just didn't care and would act blatantly rude or mean whenever they called on him for help…but that was the problem…he still came anyway, because he can't bring himself to just **not** see them.

What could he be doing wrong, why can't they feel the same for him?

"…_no…no…no…" _They stirred quietly, Zatara didn't even realize they had fallen asleep. It was good, they needed rest. There were clear dark, bags beneath their eyes. Their skin was paler and cooler than usual from lack of sleep. They must have been working non-stop lately with everything that had been going on.

"Shhh…what's wrong?" Zatara asked in a soft whisper near their ear, his lips lightly caressing their lobe, worry filling his chest.

They remained asleep, lost in a dream, escaping to a reality where they could be happy. Zatara could tell by the smile that now formed onto their lips, "_no matter what…."_ Zatara remained quiet, waiting for more. He knew this dream; he knew it because they would always utter those same words with that same, warm, relaxed smile he could never seem to bring himself. Afterwards there would always be…"_Conner…"_ the same name, and every single **damn** time, he could feel his throat tighten and his heart drop like he was falling out of the sky. It was always the same old tired thing.

It was one of those times; he wanted to shake the other awake. Then knock them out of the bed – be outright _mean_. He wanted them to hurt, he wanted to erase that stupid smile, despite how much he loved it and wanted it _so_ bad. But if he didn't make it, and it was still about Superboy, he wanted it **gone**. However…"…_you left._"…he was reminded, that Tim's own mind did that for him in the end.

Zatara shook him lightly awake kissing away the tears as best he could, gently and softly. Tim awoke ready to attack, but he immediately realized where he was and settled down. His heart beating rapidly as though it was going to pound out of his chest, and his breathes uneven and quick. He laid his head back down, and even inched into Zatara's touch. It was a reaction, not for _him_ necessarily, but it was enough for Zatara, because if there was one thing Tim did do for him, it was cry. He held on tight, never letting go as he rubbed gentle circles into Tim's shoulders.

Tim loved Conner, but he loved Tim.

That's all that really mattered, at this moment, anyways."Shhh…"

If love is really forever, than Zatara was a winner of a losing game.


End file.
